Diary of a Blonde/Inept Motor Mechanic
each entry is a day - but the days are not necessarily consecutive!
- Finally removed all the loose stuff from the barn, and I think I have a flatish bit big enough to work on the Niva! There is a slight ridge issue, but I'm sure I can work round it... after all, it is an off-road car! Bonus is that we have ancient (i.e. dry and extremely seasoned) hardwood to burn on the woodburner. Downside is that the ancient worm-ridden oak beam at the bottom of the 'crap wood' pile was as hard as nails and blunted both of my chainsaws.
- Got the beast in the barn - eventually. Kindof forgot I had high and low box in the heat of the moment, and tried a 20 point turn in high box - over the ridges. When the clouds of blue smoke cleared (do I still have a clutch?) I was left wondering which child I'd left in charge of the fire extinguisher, and actually where were they all???
- 'Parked' the beast on the flat bit. Loosened the wheel nuts, sorted out the tools and spare parts, nerves failed so changed the air filter and went to ride the horse.
- Found the appropriate planks and jacked up the car. Let it back down, tried again, and got the axel-stand in place under the front cross-member. I hate the way the car makes so many groaning noises when I jack it up - and the way they echo round the barn. Removed road wheel, cleaned up everything in sight (yes, rust is still rust coloured when the pale Champagne mud is removed!) Gave in to offspring pressure and went shopping.
- Decided to get motivated! Managed to remove the split-pins from the brake calipers, and even found the little springs that fell out, for re-fitting at a later date. Removed the brakes from the front hub - tried to pull them off, then remembered what motor mechanics was all about and used a hammer. Tied the brake calipers out of the way and sprayed WD40 on all the nuts that I think may need undoing soon. Consulted the online instructions and realised that I should've removed the end driveshaft nut before the brakes, so improvised by jamming a f-off big spanner in the wheel studs. Looked for a split pin, but couldn't find one so undid the nut anyway, and it came off. Went inside to find the socket set and got side-tracked...
- I was beginning to think the large nut on the ball joint taper was welded on, but managed to loosen it eventually. Caught my finger on the split-pin on the track-rod end - 1st blood to the Lada! Maybe I should just plaster all my fingers and knuckles before starting. I wish the dog wouldn't lick the drops of blood off the lino - I find it rather disturbing. The snazzy wind-up balljoint splitter broke, and in spite of 1/2 can of WD40 over a couple of days the balljoint isn't moving. Can I possibly find enough room to swing the 22 lb sledge-hammer?
- took advice from the experts, and undid the three 13mm nuts at the top of the balljoint. As expected, the boltheads swivel and are difficult to get to! Was tempted to replace the spring and shock absorber as they are now accessible, but decided that putting more umph into the suspension right now was not a good idea! Hmm, problem balljoint is still firmly ensconced - and there are now lots more of them visible - gulp!
- Well today I surpassed myself. I managed to get the sit-on lawnmower wedged under the wheel arch of the trailer! The trailer is full of oak logs so I can't move it without the Niva. I can't raise the trailer as the trolley jack is under the Niva in the barn!
- Manage to disconnect the lower balljpoint by undoing the three nuts. This left the hub assembly hanging off the trackrod balljoint - which was also proving difficult to shift! Now any attempt to undo the bolt meant that the whole hub shifted. Damn, maybe I should've thought about that before! Undid the tightening bolts on the trackrod adjustment sleeve, and rotated the whole hub assembly (just a little bit heavy!) until it came off. Managed to split the balljoint once I'd bolted the vice to the 'workbench', and even managed to split the track rod - although I had to link my biggest spanners together then jump on them to get enough leverage on the nut. Things are looking clearer under the car - although I still can't shift the top nut on the shock/damper :(
- Still can't split the last balljoint - in a fit of madness I thought it might be a good idea to replace all the balljoints, rather than have to take the car apart again at a later date to do it. Dammit - now I've ruined a perfectly good balljoint with the special tool, and it's still sat there! Looked at the CV joint nestled under the centre of the car, and decided that it would be easier to get to if I took the spring and shock/damper out 1st (they are both due for replacement anyway) - besides which I have a fear of getting under the car when it's on axle stands. Read the instructions for the spring compressors, courage failed, and as I still can't shift the top nut on the shock/damper (just where did I tidy the mole grips away to?) retired to the workshop. After looking for the 'instructions' online (thanks to Jonno for another photo essay!) I started on the wheel bearings. I knew something wasn't quite right when the instructions said "a few taps of a hammer" to release the drive flange - mine fell out when I removed the brake caliper! Had a lot of panic as the old seals have a metal face showing, and the new ones are black rubber. Advice/reassurance from the guys at lada.co.uk later, and I managed to remove the old bearings. Assumed that I had to conserve the metal facings as the bearings kit didn't have any - then unwrapped the new ones and discovered they have metal under the rubber coating. Doh. Ran out of time so went to ride the horse with black grease under my nails - now where did the teenager leave her black nail-varnish?
- Finally sawed through the shock-absorber/damper below the top nut, so that's out! Went through my collection of metal saws in ascending order but was loathe to get the angle-grinder out as the brake-pipes are adjacent. Quite reassuring really to know that my car is made of such resistant stuff - although that didn't stop me swearing at the time! Altered the profile of the stuck balljoint somewhat with the lump-hammer, sawed the end off and fitted a nut, and rogered the nut too. Took what's left of the hub assembly to a local garage, and they freed the balljoint in 3 hits! Obviously I need an oversized anvil in my workshop :) Chap asked me if I had the equipment to remove the knackered end of the balljoint, and I said yes I had a metal saw, so he removed it with a compressed air angle-grinder while trying not to laugh. There was a really nice Niva at the garage - when parking it the mechanic drove it up the grass slope from the road (instead of reversing it in from the top like for normal cars) with a big grin on his face! Had a major panic that I'd bought 90€ worth of wrong inner-drive-joint, but then later saw in the parts catalogue that the new part was a replacement for the old. Must get some Ariel Automatic - supermarket's own doesn't get black grease out of jeans, T-shirts, etc.
- Shiny new hubs and brake disks arrived by post, but was dismayed to discover they didn't come with wheel studs! Apparently I can re-use the old ones if I hit them hard enough to get them out. Enviseaging having to use the 22lb sledge I was relieved to find that they not only came out with the lump hammer, but I hadn't ruined the threads either! Quit while I was ahead, and went to buy this year's geraniums.
- Tried to remove the front spring and failed miserably. Finally got it back into place by getting the girls to sit on the wing! Need heavier daughters if I really want to get the nice new red springs in though.
- Wasn't looking forward to getting the inner drive joint out, however it appears it was only held on by the boot as it dropped out when I peeled it back. Hmm, this car really is a bit special! Couldn't work out how to get the inner joint housing out, so it globbed black gunk all over the floor. Got the new wheel bearings in (those outer races aren't half cold when they've been in the freezer!) and was relieved when the new disk and drive flange needed tapping in, unlike removing the old one. Re-fitted the brake caliper - eventually, lining up the holes was proving difficult until I realised the metal shield was in the way. Nearly cried when I turned the hub over and one of the wheel studs had diappeared inside the hub, but luckily I could reach it by only taking the brake caliper off.
- Even I'm ashamed to have to own up to this one. Mis-read the instructions and greased up the inner ball-race, etc, and then tried to fit the shaft. The little clip on the end didn't compress to pass through, it broke. Had to fish the bits out from the best part of a tube of black grease - lovely! Tried to re-use the old clip, which didn't want to compress at all, so tried to bend it in a bit with the pliers. Watched it bounce around the workshop and bury itself somewhere in the sawdust. Gave up and got cleaned up before I touched anything else, went to cut the grass and broke the lawnmower - yes, my favourite part, the balljoint.
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Got a complete new track-rod for the lawnmower - they only sell them like that, just for people like me :) Fixed it and finished the grass, and was just contemplating what to do next when the shop rang and said I'd left my bank card there. Oh well, I thought, they might have a little clip...
Couldn't get hold of a new clip anywhere, so improvised with 90% of a spring clip. Seems to work - it's not going anywhere! Applied tie-wraps to the boots (all this mechanics must be making me stronger, I broke lots of them!) and searched the 'complete' Niva gasket set in vain for the right one. 'L'heure d'apéritif' beckoned. -
Apparently I can make my own gaskets with cardboard and a hammer! It's lucky cereal boxes are big, as it took me 3 attempts. Fitted the inner joint to the diff, and decided to top up the diff oil while I could get to it. It's amazing how far you can jack a Niva up on a ring spanner before the filler-plug undoes! Used the sheep-wormer syringe to get the oil in - fancy having an oil top-up on the side, most inconvenient.
Fitted the new track-rod end, new shock-absorber, and the top and bottom ball-joints (after greasing them - oops, that was close!). Just the hub assembly to put back... time to look up those torque settings, after cooking tea! - Oops. The UK Lada gurus say I shouldn't use Castrol LMX for the balljoints, but it's OK for the wheel bearings. The French Lada gurus say the opposite! I've put it in both. Dammit! Looks like I'll have to redo one of them, but which? Today google was not my friend, so none-the-wiser.
- Found a set of 4 balljoints (complete with grease!) really cheap on ebay, so decided to leave the LMX greased ones where they were. That is, until I couldn't get the hub in! Removed the balljoints from the car and tried to put them on the hub first. Couldn't get the lower balljoint on as it fouled on the shield, so took the hub apart again - and sheared off the small bolt that fixes the shield on. Drilled the broken bolt out, and realised I'd been trying to put the balljoint in upside-down - DOH! Got the lower balljoint in, and the track-rod end, and left the hub supported on an axle-stand ready for the top balljoint tomorrow as I couldn't read the tiny numbers on the torque wrench without my glasses.
- Managed to get the brake caliper back on after retracting the pistons with a G-clamp (checked the 'before' photos to make sure it was the right way up!), and also got the top balljoint in place using the jack and a ratchet strap. Still not quite sure how it worked, but having got the 3 fixing bolts in place a tap with the lump hammer at the vital moment wedged the balljoint enough to tighten the big nut. Felt quite smug, as I'd even remembered to put the brake-pipe clips on first! Tried to check which pipe went in which clip by looking at the other side, but of course there aren't any brake clips on that side! I think I over-tightened the hub nut - my torque wrench doesn't go down to 7.8 nm. Still, the car now has 4 wheels and no axle stands. Big question now is: do I dare to test it out or wait until I've done the other side???
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The shiny new bits for the RHS arrived this morning, so I took that as a sign and started on it. I looked back at this diary to see what I'd done last time - and in which order (didn't want to make the same mistakes!) - and consequently did it all in the same order, apart from the track-rod end (wasn't going to get caught out like that again, oh no! Disconnected it first this time. Oops. Shouldn't have done that - had to wedge the hub in two directions to undo reluctant bolts this time. Oh well - at least I didn't have to rotate the entire hub assembly to get the track-rod end off!). Got the hub on the workbench (can this really be only day 1 of "the other side"???) and once again the lower balljoint was proving a problem. Got a bit 'hammer-happy' and belted my thumb. Ow. Actually "ow - bigtime". Next time I will definitely, definitely put 'whatever' in the vice before wielding the lump hammer.
Sheared off the same shield-fixing bolt - but this time I'm not going to panic, I have the right drill-bit, right? Wheel bearings were completely f*****d - glad I hadn't taken the car for a spin after all! - freed the last balljoint - whoopee! Removed the old wheel bearing outer races, eventually. Had to take the dishwasher apart, so flooded the kitchen, but at least I don't have to wash up - more time to play with the Niva!:) Got the new wheel bearings and brake disk into the hub - and found out that a 'local' shop sells all sizes and types of bolts for replacing the ones I stripped the threads on! The new RHS inner joint is of the new design - three spinning heads on needle bearings. Decided to try and cheat, by refurbishing the old joint if I can to avoid having to remove the casing from the diff. I wouldn't mind so much if I hadn't already topped up the oil in the diff! Have sprayed penetrating oil repeatedly on the joint on the track-rod that has to come out - not looking forward to that one!
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Had to saw off the old shock-absorber (damper) again - was kindof expecting that!
Can't split the balljoint on the track-rod - well there's a surprise. Refurbished the inner joint, and greased it up with Castrol LMX. Oops. Cleaned it all again and put the proper grease on it.
Got the track-rod balljoint split - the first one of 7 to split using the splitter - now I'm glad I bought the set :) Was having issues because the balljoint was so close to the exhaust - and had to be reminded that this was a steering component, so turning the wheel made all the difference. Sometimes I'm forcibly reminded where the kids' blonde gene comes from :) -
Got the driveshaft and hub back in, connected the balljoints and the lower bolt on the shock-absorber. Put the roadwheel on, and was somewhat dismayed when it wouldn't turn until I realised it was rubbing on the end of the plank the axle-stand was on!
Set the tracking using the 'ficelle et Pastis' method (string and Ricard), but without the Pastis.
Then I had to clear the barn again to get the car out - amazing how quickly the junk piles up!
It started 1st time - bonus! Unfortunately not going anywhere though, just nasty noises when I try and disengage the clutch. Poo. - So it's probably the gearbox, and as the clutch is suspect(!) apparently I have to change that too. Jacked the car up at both ends, had a look, and went inside for a stiff drink.
- Managed to undo all the bolts on the propshafts either side of the transfer box. Didn't make much difference as they didn't want to move! Found the problem - I wasn't hitting them hard enough. Transfer box didn't want to let go of the speedo cable, so I left it for now. The bolts in the doughnut were excrutiatingly tight, but dégrippant seems to work better than WD40!
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Spray-painted around the transfer box cross-piece mounts as instructed - although I'm not sure I painted the right bits as I didn't want to get paint on the nuts I had to undo!
Drained the oil to make it lighter (every little helps!) and got the transfer box out - with a bit of wiggle-ing and a daughter pulling it backwards on a ratchet strap. Speedo cable is still attached to the cover from the transfer box. -
Removed the clutch slave, and the bolts around the bell-housing (eventually!) - and discovered that if I took the air-filter off I could get to the top bolts with a ring spanner.
Finally got the gearbox out - I was being too gentle with the exhaust, which was getting in the way. Aren't ratchet straps useful (as are random concreted-in bits of metal in the barn!)
What a mess inside the bell-housing :( Had to get cleaned up as we had guests coming.
Today's tip - don't try and shake the mud out of your hair while under the car - ouch! - cleaned up the bell-housing - and apparently the fuel for domestic portable fires in France is as near as dammit parafin, which is good news as it comes in 25 litre containers from the supermarket and doesn't make me as nervous as doing the job with petrol! Found lots of bits in the gunge - some identifiable and some not. Got the old clutch off, but struggled with the bolts in the flywheel so sprayed them (carefully!) with degrippant and went to ride the horse. All this motor mechanics is making me stronger - I managed to stop said horse in mid-gallop through the French forest :)
- Still can't shift the flywheel bolts :( Gave up and went to do something else.
- Removed the rocker cover, cleaned it up and fitted the new gasket. Lucky I counted the bolts, as one of the accelerator linkage ones was perched inside the engine! Had a few issues getting the rocker-cover off, but luckily the dash is still off so getting to the heater air-intake bolts was easy, and the crowbar helped rock the engine forward enough to get it clear. The bit I thought I'd broken when trying to wedge the flywheel turned out to be the starter - which of course had moved as it's not bolted to anything at the moment!
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Got the gearbox back in! Surprised myself there - didn't think I could do it :)
Used a ratchet strap round the transfer-box end, round a piece of wood across the hole in the tunnel, to keep it level so nothing got damaged in the new clutch department. - Got the transfer box in too! There was enough red paint for me to work out where it was before, and I looked up alignment just in case :)
Hmm, somehow in the removal/refitting process I appear to have destroyed the thread on the top of one of the studs that holds the gear lever in place. I think I can file it a bit to make the nut go back on though! Slightly more alarming is the fact I can no longer find the clutch return spring - and the clutch slave cylinder does not want to come off, in fact it's so stuck I broke my 17 spanner on it! - Well the bruises from manhandling the gearbox and transfer box back in are beginning to fade, but the clutch slave cylinder is still firmly attached to the pipe and no sign of that pesky spring.
- Well a week of spraying 'dégrippant' on every day finally paid off, and the new slave cylinder is fitted! Enlisted the help of the teenager to bleed the clutch, and it's looking good! Must remember to remove the axle stands before starting her up. Shame about the lawnmower - the new belt for the cutting deck does not want to "get in the groove".
- Removed the axle stands, filed the end of the stud I'd 'knocked about a bit' and got the last nut on the gearstick. It certainly looks better from the cock-pit when you can't see the ground through the transfer tunnel! Re-connected the battery and turned the key...
Where did all the lights come from?
I never used to have a 'handbreak engaged' light! Not worried about the 'battery not charging' light though - I changed the alternator before I realised it was a faulty connection not long back!
Unfortunately I still have the same problem - releasing the clutch pedal when in gear leads to nasty 'not quite in gear' grindy noises and no movement. Rude (very!) words. - Ordered a new return spring for the clutch slave cylinder from the nearest Lada garage. Not that you'd know they had a Lada franchise - we drove past the red and white HONDA garage 3 times before I worked out that it was the one! Recognised the manual they order the parts from - I have the same one, downloaded from GadgetBoy's site.
Apparently my transfer box has gone. WTF? Everything worked to drive the car into the barn (oh, apart from the 'smokin' episode with the clutch!) - so why after a few weeks on axle stands does it decide to fall apart??!
Now I know why there's a large pit in the barn - it's so I can push the Niva in it when I've had enough, and let it grow over :)
Is there room for the lawnmower down the pit? - Yeah! The "Landy-king" fixed the John Deere lawnmower - and so quickly it was almost indecent! OK, so he knows his way round a bit of machinery :) - and I'd done most of the work, but I couldn't get the belt past this one "tensioner":(
He moved a part I'd moved (obviously half-heartedly, but I had tried - really really hard!!) and then started asking where I'd left the spacers, clips, split-pins...
Obviously there is no substitute for experience... does this mean that the 2nd time I drop the TC it will 'go' better? I hope so!!! - Tried to drive with the diff-lock on...and it worked! Jacked up the front and spun the wheels - uh-oh! The LHS wheel spins freely and the inner joint casing doesn't move.
Looks like I have another round of balljoints to split, but at least I can leave the transfer box alone :) - So the cage had come off the shaft inside the inner joint. So much for improvisation! Ordered a proper clip from Alan - in the post that afternoon. Left the CV on the bench and fenced the field.
- Still waiting for the postman - although as letters from Chateauneuf take 3 days (walking would be quicker!) I'm not holding my breath.
- One new clip finally arrived! - and an indicator relay... time to go put it all back together again, after taking the teenager to ride the horse, of course :(
- was poorly, oh so poorly :(
Finally staggered into the barn with a view to "if I can lift the half-shaft I can put it back in!". So I did. Changed the clutch return spring for the real thing (I'm done with improvising!) and enlisted the help of the teenager to move the piles of junk that seem to accumulate in the barn. Rehung the door (oops, pushed too hard the wrong way!)... and drove the car out! Did a few laps of the garden just to make sure - and it drives so much better than before! Yeeess!!! - Couldn't get the bonnet open to disconnect the battery. Finally managed it, but even with the new relay the indicators don't work. Well at least the wires don't smoke any more! Put the dash back in and went off-roading anyway!
- Nasty grinding noise from the front right - pulled over and discovered that the central hub nut was almost off! That'll teach me to hit it harder to engage the locking - even if it is new and shiny. Luckily I had the tool-kit in the back, but I got sunburnt whilst sorting it out. Strappy tops and roadside repairs are not a good idea in the summer!
The chassis crack under the steering box has opened up again - and all the new oil I just put in the steering box has leaked through it. Enlisted the help of the landi-king to weld some plates on it, now I just have to take it apart before he gets here... - steering box now firmly attached - and steering seems to be a lot less approximate! Only tried it round the garden so far - the real test is tomorrow when I take the trailer-load of rubbish to the tip. Had a slight accident with the grease-gun - never mind, I had to wipe it somewhere... so it will stop the new weld from rusting for a bit (and the brake pipes, etc, etc...)
- Have now got indicators, hazards and no 'battery-charge' light, thanks to Neil and JP! It's almost a proper car :)
Introduced the 6-yr old to green-laning - apparently it's super-fun!
Failed the emissions test for the annual part of the contrôle technique - bugger. Will have to learn all about carburetors now... - new front bumper arrived - apparently the old one will no longer pass the contrôle technique. Forgot to order mounting brackets, so it's sitting in the barn. The gales last week blew the light fitting off the wires so there's no light in there now - will have to wait until a convenient moment to turn off the electricity so I can fix it!
- The pile of bits needing fitting are mounting up - but it's summer and we're in attractive, rural, central France so the visitors keep coming! I'm saving the new oil sump plug for the garage - the old one is well-stuck and rounded off (and no! it wasn't me!)
- So the new bumper brackets arrived welded to the supporting tubes! Apparently there's only one bolt each side attaching them - best get another can of dégrippant...
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so the last of the summer visitors have gone - and they drank the last of the summer wine!!!
The Niva is looking at me - and I still have to sort out the emmisions and the pipes on the fuel tank. The new plugs and HT leads are installed, but as we've gone from too-hot to torrential rain I haven't played with the carb yet, let alone the tappits and timing! Judging by the old plugs it's running rich, just hoping it's no more serious than that. - So the choke appears to be working (or at least the butterfly looks to be in the right positions when it's engaged or not) but playing with the carb when the engine is running seemed a little daunting so I decided to replace the front bumper instead (well it's the biggest bit on the new parts pile!).
There were indeed only 2 (big) bolts holding it on, and although I had to put the jack under the ratchet to stop it slipping they weren't as seized as most of the bolts on the car! Needed quite a bit of persuasion with the lump hammer to shift the bumper/bullbar ensemble though, probably due to the copious quantities of sand inside the supporting tubes. Just where has this car been (and how deep!)!!!
- My Niva looks naked now! - Finally got round to removing everything from the back of the car, so I could investigate the fuel leak. I could've coped with only putting a gallon of fuel in at a time, but the carb cleaner requires a fill-up!
No wonder the petrol was pouring out - the expansion pipe wasn't connected at the tank end. Fitted a new pipe (eventually - it was a tight fit!), put some air in the tyres, refitted the air-filter assembly, put the tool-kit in the back... and ran out of excuses not to drive to the petrol station! - Filled her up - and it was all still there in the morning!
Horrid noise at 25th revs though... hope it's not serious. - Finally got to the garage to have the tracking done, and asked them to do the oil change as the sump plug was rounded off (no, it wasn't me!!!)
The tracking was well off after all the replacement steering parts - and now the loud humm at 25th revs has gone too! They had to weld a bolt onto the sump-plug to get it out, and while they were at it they checked all the oil levels and lights. Apparently the renovations are looking good, and the garage owner threatened to take me on as a mechanic! Best bit though was that they all treated me with respect, not as 'that dippy woman who DIY's her car' :) - so I ran out of time to get the CO emmissions under the limit for the annual contrôle technique, so I left the Niva with a garage. The owner tunes rally cars so I figured he should be able to get it through! New spark plugs, HT leads and a dose of carb cleaner in the petrol tank had made a start, so he did the timing and adjusted the carb and got it through. Car runs much better now - hills are not such a struggle!
- First snow of the year - and it's only October! Drove the Niva to the stables to meet the farrier (what snow?) and appreciated the Siberian grade heater! The wipers aren't great, but at least they work!
- Real snow this time - took the Niva out to fill up the tank - thought it wise...
No problems getting over the hill (or back!) and it was warmer in the car than in the house!
Took the small child off-road to cut a Christmas tree from the woods - much fun was had by all. - Discovered that the screen-wash wasn't working. Took the pipes apart and tried it - that worked OK! Found that the water in the pipes had gone green over the summer, so operating the screen-wash while the pipe wasn't connected to the jets sent a blob of green gunge almost to the roof of the barn. Cleared the jets with a pin and all is well again.